You Might Be Losing Connection With Yourself (Without Realizing It)

I know this because there was a time in my life when I was deeply disconnected from myself.

I think many women quietly lose connection with themselves at some point in their lives.

Not all at once.

But slowly.

Through heartbreak.
Through disappointment.
Through emotional pain, we don’t quite know how to process.

So instead of feeling it… we numb it or avoid it.

Watch instead of read…

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What Disconnection Looks Like…

Sometimes it looks like staying busy so you never have to be still.

Scrolling the moment something uncomfortable comes up.

Saying you’re fine when you’re not.

Going through your whole day, the kids, the job, the obligations and feeling like you’re watching your life from somewhere far away.

Like you’re there but you’re not really there.

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My Experience…

I know this because there was a time in my life when I was deeply disconnected from myself.

Most days I woke up hungover.

I would lie in bed watching TV during the day and go to work at night.

I would tell myself I wasn’t going to drink that day.

But I always did.

Sometimes I needed a drink just to wake up in the evening.

And sometimes I drank even when I already felt good.

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Looking back now, I can see something that I didn’t understand then…

I didn’t know how to be with my emotions.

There was a deep sadness living inside of me that I didn’t even realize was there.

The only time it really came out was when I drank too much and suddenly found myself crying.

As you know, hindsight is 20/20 and back then, I believed something about myself that shaped everything.

I believed I wasn’t lovable.

I thought of myself as damaged goods.

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What I understand now is that our emotions are messengers.

But most of us were never taught how to listen to them.

So instead of feeling them, we binge netflix, shop on Amazon or grab a cookie.

And over time, that emotional weight starts shaping the life we experience.

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If I could sit down with the woman I was back then, I would tell her this:

You are lovable.
You deserve to be happy.
You deserve a healthy, loving relationship.
And you are worth the time it takes to feel better and learn how to love yourself.

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And honestly… I think there are many women walking around carrying that same subtle belief about themselves.

Sometimes the beginning of healing is just noticing something simple:

Have I lost connection with myself somewhere along the way?

A Few Questions to Sit With

• When was the last time I felt truly connected to myself?

• Are there emotions I tend to avoid or numb when they come up?

• What do I usually do when something painful or uncomfortable shows up in my life?

• If I slowed down and listened to my emotions more closely, what might they be trying to tell me?

You don’t have to have perfect answers.

Healing can begin simply by being willing to ask the question.

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I would love to hear your insights…hit reply and share.

Much love,

Essence