When You Know You’re Meant for More, But the Pattern Keeps Repeating
These patterns don’t end through willpower or clarity alone. And this is where the body matters.
I used to love New Year’s Eve.
I had a friend who would always say, “This is our year.”
And for a long time, I felt the hope. The maybe this time it’ll actually be different energy.
But a few years in, something shifted for me.
I could finally see it. Every year kept being… the same year.
The same type of guys, just with different names.
Same habits I swore I was done with.
And what made it harder was that I knew I was meant for more.
Not just more love but more expression, more truth, more contribution.
There was a calling inside of me, and I could feel it.
And still… my life kept looping.
That’s when I realized something that changed everything for me:
Wanting change doesn’t end a pattern.
Saying “this stops here” doesn’t automatically stop it either.
Something inside of me had to change.
Not my intentions or goals.
But the part of me that kept recreating the same experience even when I knew better.
This is what I see so often with the women I work with.
They’re self-aware and have done a lot of inner work.
And they know they’re here to do something meaningful with their voice, their gifts, their work.
But the pattern still shows up especially right when their calling asks them to be seen.
I was working with a client recently around her marketing.
She kept telling me she’d sit down to create content, and she’d be thinking and forcing ideas so hard that it almost gave her a headache.
So, I guided her toward something simple to allow inspiration to come to her: spending more time in her body. being present while she cooked.
Go for a walk. Be truly present with her kids.
Letting herself slow down instead of thinking ten steps ahead.
And within seconds, she said, “Okay, so I just need to make a plan to be in my body so I can get the downloads.”
I paused her and said, “Did you hear what you just said?”
She burst out laughing.
Because there it was the pattern looping again.
Why? Because control was familiar.
And presence wasn’t yet.
When your calling asks you to step forward in your work, your leadership, your business, your body has to feel safe enough to come with you.
Otherwise, it pulls you back, stalls, procrastinates, freezes.
All to protect you.
And you may not always see it, because you’re still in it.
This is the work that I do with women who have gifts to share.
My goal is to help your body catch up to what your soul already knows.
We do this through body-based work that brings safety back online, using embodiment, nervous system support, and feminine-led practices that help old patterns unravel.
So, when you sit down to create…to speak…to share your work…you’re not fighting yourself anymore.
And sharing your work feels possible, grounded, and true to you.
If any of this sounds familiar and questions arise, feel free to hit reply and ask away.
Happy Holidays!
Much Love, Essence
