Stop Muting Yourself | Self-Healing Sunday
If you feel anxious every day around the same time, like mid afternoon, or right before you have to show up...
If your anxiety or heavy feelings show up every day…
You feel that wave of anxiety at work… so you take a deep breath and keep going like nothing happened
You sit down to post or create… your chest tightens… and you breathe just try to “calm down”
You’re about to speak up, share something, or be seen… your body hesitates… and you just breathe to push through it
You keep having the same emotional reaction in the same situations… and you just breathe to push it down…
If these things keep happening over and over and your only move is “take a deep breath”, and push through...
you’re not healing yourself
you’re muting yourself
I’m not against nervous system work.
I just don’t believe it’s meant to be a mute button.
If you feel anxious every day around the same time, like mid afternoon, or right before you have to show up,
or when you sit down to focus and your only move is to take a few deep breaths so you can push through…that’s not really healing.
That’s you quieting your body just enough to keep going.
Muting yourself
What if your man had a remote and every time you went to go say something, he hit the mute button to silence you.
Ten minutes later, you go to start talking again and he’s like, mute.
Third time, mute.
That is what you’re doing to yourself when you’re constantly having to regulate your body.
For instance if you’re at the grocery store and all of a sudden fear rises up and then you think, “oh, let me do these breathing practices to regulate my nervous system”.
That’s like muting yourself.
Or later on in the evening, you’re having thoughts of your ex and the breakup and your heart hurts.
You think, “oh, let me go do this yoga.”
You’re muting yourself again.
Instead of trying to manipulate and manage your body, manage your nervous system, I like to think about being in relationship, and relating to your nervous system.
Because when you are relating to yourself, now you want to understand, why am I feeling this fear when I’m at the grocery store?
What is this heartbreak that’s rising up?
What does it want to tell me?
I want to know what it needs from me, instead of me just constantly wanting to breathe and move through what’s naturally coming up in my body?
Next time something comes up… don’t mute it.
When you feel the urge to calm yourself down, pause.
Instead of going straight to breath or trying to fix it, ask:
What am I feeling right now?
Where do I feel it in my body?
What does this need from me?
You don’t have to solve it.
Just stay with yourself a little longer than you normally would.
Contemplation:
Where in my life am I constantly trying to calm something down instead of listening to it?
When I feel anxious or emotional… do I try to understand it, or do I try to get rid of it?
What might my body be trying to tell me that I haven’t slowed down enough to hear?
Happy Journaling
Much love,
Essence
If you’re ready to learn how to start relating to yourself and your body and stop regulating several times a day book a call.
We’ll get clear on what’s causing you to feel dysregulated on a daily basis and create a plan to help you calm, grounded and centered on a daily basis.