Purpose Is Not What You Do Pt 3
Purpose Is Not What You Do. It's not job or something to figure out.
I want to keep this email short and simple, because this isn’t something to figure out. It’s something to sit with.
When we talk about purpose, especially when we talk about turning pain into purpose in the old paradigm, we’re usually talking about making our lives and our experiences add up to something useful.
So turning pain into purpose often means this:
Taking what you’ve been through and using it to help others.
Teaching.
Leading.
Building something meaningful from your experiences.
There’s nothing wrong with thinking of purpose in this way. It’s been life-changing for me.
But what I want to offer today is a different way of understanding purpose.
Here’s the new paradigm that I received:
Purpose is not what you do with your life.
Purpose is who YOU become because of the life you’ve lived.
Your purpose is not a role.
It’s not a job, a title, or a mission you need to figure out.
Your purpose is the version of you that has been shaped by everything you’ve been through.
The way having parents who were critical or hard on you shaped you into someone who leads with compassion and gentleness instead of judgment.
The way being bullied taught you how to notice when someone is being left out or silenced.
The way early rejection taught you how to be inclusive and kind in spaces where you now have influence.
The way being misunderstood made you someone who listens more deeply than most people.
Pain doesn’t exist so you can use it for your career or a sacred mission in the world.
It exists so it can change you.
Purpose isn’t found in surviving pain.
It emerges as pain is felt and integrated.
It’s who you become on the other side of what you’ve lived and worked through so far.
The way you move through the world with more honesty, self-love and self-respect now.
That is your purpose.
Take a day or two to sit with that, and I’ll write to you again real soon.
Much love,
Essence