Listen Here
I spent YEARS choosing the lower-paying role because my nervous system thought visibility was dangerous.
Last year, I took some time off from my business to go deeper into my somatic work and training.
I was taking my Kundalini yoga teacher training and additional somatic trainings, and during that time, I went back to one of my old jobs.
We are basically educational tech trainers for nurses at hospitals.
Usually, when we do projects there, they are short. Maybe 6 weeks, sometimes 3 months.
THE ROLE I ALWAYS CHOSE
And for years, I always took the support role.
So basically, someone else would teach the class, and I would sit in the back helping the nurses on the computers if they got behind or missed something while the teacher kept teaching.
The support role paid less money, and honestly, for years, that made complete sense to me.
Even when my coworkers would beg me to train for the teaching role, I was like, “ Nope”. Absolutely not.
WHAT I REALIZED
And what I can clearly see now, after all the somatic work I’ve done, is that I was not deeply anchored in my body or self-trust.
So my brain would immediately go into anxious thoughts.
“What if somebody asks you a question and you don’t know the answer?”
“What if you look dumb?”
“What if you freeze?”
“What if everybody realizes you don’t know everything?”
And it would create this panic in my body where I was like, “yeah, no, I’m not about to be standing up in front of a class looking like a fool.”
So for years, I chose the safer role.
The invisible & lower-paid role.
WHAT CHANGED
But during this last project, which was almost a year long, something had shifted in me.
I remember thinking… I’m not about to take less money for an entire year because my brain is creating fear scenarios.
No.
And my brain still tried.
“What if somebody asks something you don’t know?”
THE DIFFERENCE
This time, there was this steadiness in me.
This anchored feeling of:
I got this.
And if I don’t know the answer, I’ll just say I don’t know.
Or I’ll tell them it’s outside the scope of the class.
Or I’ll get back to them later.
Nothing about not knowing something suddenly meant I was dumb or incapable anymore.
THE MOMENT I KNEW I HAD CHANGED
And honestly… every single time somebody asked me something I didn’t know, I almost enjoyed it.
Because it reflected back to me how much stronger and more anchored in myself I had become.
Questions no longer knocked me out of myself.
People’s perceptions no longer had the power to completely shake me.
I could stay steady in myself.
WHY I’M SHARING THIS
And I’m sharing this because I think a lot of people don’t realize how much anxious thinking keeps them from opportunities, money, visibility, leadership, relationships, creativity… all of it.
Simply because they aren’t deeply anchored in themselves.
THE SHIP
When you are disconnected from your body and only living in your mind, it’s like being on the top deck of a ship during a storm.
Every wave throws you around.
Every opinion shakes you.
Every moment of uncertainty knocks you off center.
But when you’re anchored in your body, it’s like holding onto something deeper underneath all the chaos.
The waves still come.
Life still happens.
People still ask hard questions.
There is still uncertainty.
But you’re steady now.
You’re not getting emotionally thrown overboard every five minutes by fear scenarios your brain created.
You trust yourself to handle what comes.
And honestly… this is the way it was always meant to be for you.
There is a version of you that can handle more money, more visibility, more responsibility, and more leadership.
But she needs a body that feels safe enough to hold it.
And if you feel like your body is still pulling the brake every time it’s time to raise your prices, speak up, go live, lead the room, be fully seen, or say yes to a bigger opportunity…
that is exactly the kind of thing we look at inside the Feminine Return Blueprint Session.
It’s a free call where we slow down and look at the actual pattern your body has been running underneath the fear, the overthinking, the hesitation, and the self doubt so you can start feeling safer in yourself when life asks you to step-up, make more money or take-up space.
Much Love,
Essence
