How To Calmly Say What You're Angry About
Your anger is a messenger usually whispering something like…I’m not being heard. I’m not being respected. Something’s not right.
*Watch the video below*
Here’s your Goddess Wisdom for today
You can be angry for months and still convey your message calmly.
And here’s the thing, I’m not gonna make you read through 1,000 words before I tell you how to do it.
It’s simple.
Deliver your message when you’re calm.
That’s it. That’s the part most people skip.
The reason so many women struggle with getting their message across and being heard is because they try to do it while they’re angry.
And I get it, that’s when it’s easiest. When you’re heated, it gives you courage and energy, that’s why those strong words just shoot out like a rocket.
You can finally say all the things you’ve been holding in for months.
But that anger… anger’s fiery.
And when you get too close to fire, what do you do?
You shield yourself.
So when you come at your partner in anger, an invisible wall goes up around them.
You could be saying the most heartfelt things, trying to explain how hurt or unseen you’ve felt but it’s not landing. It’s just bouncing off that wall, fading into space.
They might nod or even say “yeah, you’re right, I feel you” but a month later, you’ll be right back in that same argument.
Here’s the hard truth: once the fire fades, it takes real courage to sit with what’s underneath the anger, to feel the hurt and breathe it through it, and then speak only once you’ve found your peace again.
It’s hard because your ego wants to avoid the hurt and vulnerability and instead to just let the chaos rip.
But on this feminine healing path, your ego is not in control; your soul is.
And that’s the work.
One thing I help my clients do is learn how to create that calm within themselves.
Through movement, breathwork, and grounding practices. They learn how to find their still point.
Because when you’re calm, you’re rooted.
You’re safe in yourself.
So even if your partner doesn’t respond the way you hope, you stay steady.
Remember, your anger isn’t wrong. It’s not bad.
It’s a messenger usually whispering something like…I’m not being heard. I’m not being respected. Something’s not right.
But that doesn’t mean you have to deliver the message when it’s burning inside of you.
Because if you want your message to land, wait until the fire settles.
Let it cool.
Let your body breathe.
Let your heart open.
Then speak.
That’s when your truth gets heard.
Much love,
Essence
P.S.
This is the kind of work we do inside The Self-Healing School.
You’ll learn how to slow down enough to hear what your body’s trying to tell you — how to move, breathe, and ground yourself so your truth can be delivered through calm energy instead of chaos.
You can take the first step by visiting the Start Here tab and taking The Goddess Quiz.
It’ll show you which feminine energy is guiding your healing right now, and in the workbook, you’ll get goddess wisdom and a grounding practice to help you start feeling rooted today.
Watch: How To Calmly Say What You’re Angry About