How to Build The Confidence Muscle (and My Cat is Attacking Me)
My mentor would often say, “It’s time to piss or get off the pot.” But something in me just felt scared. Like I need more experience first.
Hey friends,
Let’s talk about confidence.
If you’d rather watch the video version of this message, you can [click here to watch the original Reel on Instagram]. Otherwise, I’ve laid out the heart of the message for you below.
The “Confidence First” Trap
If you have gifts and magic to share but the voice in your head is like, “You need more confidence before you can get started,” I want to talk about this.
Back in the day, I was primarily known for being a radical forgiveness coach. but I was really scared to help people start their healing and forgiveness journey.
I was frozen in fear even though it helped me heal abandonment wounds and I was able to attract love.
I wanted to help other women heal and attract love too. But this voice was like: I need more confidence first.
My mentor would often say, “It’s time to piss or get off the pot.” But something in me just felt scared. Like I need more experience first.
Action Comes Before the Feeling
But here’s the thing: To get that experience, to build that confidence in what you do, you have to take action. You have to do it even though you feel that lack of confidence. You need that repetition, and then the confidence builds over time.
For me, I started taking little scary actions. I coached some people paid, some people free. And over time, it got to this place where I remember telling somebody, “I feel like I can help anyone heal and forgive anything. Like, you bring me somebody, I can help them heal and forgive.”
But that came over time.
(So sorry, my cat is attacking me!)
Start Small, Build Trust
So to get started: Start small. Start free if you have to. Even if you’ve been doing it and you’ve reached a point where you might have stopped and that fear has kicked back in, just start small.
Just start helping.
As you start helping, what you’ll see is that actually, what’s happening underneath the surface is that you are building self-trust.
That happens in the body.
Confidence and self-trust happen in the body.
As you start building that trust with yourself and you see, “Oh, I’m really good at this,” then the confidence starts to build.
Reflection:
Where have you been holding back and waiting for more confidence before you begin?
Hit reply and let me know!
Much love,
Essence
