How Self-Love Changes the Way You Experience His Love-Day 5
Most of us go looking for our partners, friends, even our parents to fill this cup… but it still somehow feels empty.
Hey Friend,
Over the years, several women have asked this question:
“Do I have to love myself before I can really love someone else?”
For a long time, I thought the answer was yes.
But honestly… now I think it’s more nuanced.
I believe you can love someone without fully loving yourself.
But…
I don’t believe you can feel the fullness of someone else’s love
until you love you.
Because here’s what really happens:
When you don’t fully love yourself, his love doesn’t have anywhere to land.
So instead of melting into his love, you:
• question it
• need proof
• want reassurance over and over
• overthink
• get jealous even when you don’t want to be
• have trust issues even when he’s given you no reason to doubt
Your lack of self-love won’t let you fully feel love because other people’s love can’t fill the void of your own lack of love.
Imagine there’s a beautiful cup inside your heart, and it’s labeled love. You peek in, and it’s only a little inside.
Most of us go looking for our partners, friends, even our parents to fill this cup… but it still somehow feels empty.
That’s why we say things like…
“Maybe he doesn’t care.”
“Maybe he’s going to leave.”
“Maybe I’m not lovable.”
“Mom loves my sister more than me.”
The thing is…they do love you, but only your own love for yourself can fill the cup to the rim.
When you love yourself, even a little deeper than before, his love and everyone else’s finally has a place to land.
A foundation.
A home.
Your love becomes the concrete layer.
His love becomes the floor built on top of it.
For many of us, our inner foundation of love is unstable because of the things we’ve been through in the past.
That’s why some women are in genuinely good relationships
but still feel insecure, unsure, or emotionally unsafe.
It’s not the partner.
It’s not the relationship.
It’s the inner ground the relationship is landing on.
And the beautiful thing?
You can rebuild that ground.
You really can.
And that’s what we’ve been doing during this 5-day journey:
• coming back into your body
• reconnecting with your essence
• melting numbness
• rebuilding inner safety
• remembering who you are
Because the more safe you feel inside yourself, and the more love, time and attention you give to yourself…the more love you’re able to receive outside yourself.
Self-love isn’t just a concept.
It’s somatic.
It’s energetic.
It lives in your body.
And I can help you deepen that.
If you’re reading this and feeling that little pull in your chest,
that quiet “I want this…”
“I want to love myself deeper.”
“I want to feel secure in my love.”
“I want to stop spiraling.”
“I want to feel grounded in relationships.”
Then I’d love to talk to you.
No pressure.
Just a soulful conversation about where you are
and what’s possible for your healing and your relationships.
You can book a consult with me here.
We’ll explore whether The Self-Healing School
is the right next step for you.
You deserve to feel love through and through, not just from others,
but from yourself, too. And I really want to help you with that.
With so much love,
Essence
