Yesterday I shared that Highly Sensitive Lightworkers experience visibility differently.

Today I want to tell you what I think is really happening.

Most lightworkers and spiritual entrepreneurs believe they’re struggling because they’re not confident enough or they need the perfect storytelling and marketing frameworks.

But I don’t think that’s true.

I think soul-led women often experience uncertainty, unpredictability, and visibility at a much higher volume than other people.

When you share something meaningful to you online, you’re not just posting.

You’re stepping into the unknown.

You don’t know how people will respond.

You don’t know who will see it.

You don’t know what opportunities it might create.

You don’t even know who you’ll become if you stop hiding and start answering your calling.

For us sensitive guides that’s a lot for the nervous system to hold.

The real work is increasing your ability to stay connected to yourself in the presence of uncertainty.

To stay with yourself while being seen and sharing something vulnerable.

And that’s a very different problem to solve.

That requires capacity.

Expansion.

Your internal world needs to become big enough to hold what your calling requires.

Marketing programs, Youtube and Instagram courses don’t teach you that.

And that’s the specialization that you need the most.

Have you ever been at a restaurant and the server brought you a tiny takeout box?

You look at the food and laugh.

“I’m taking all of this, and that box isn’t big enough to hold all of the food.”

It’s not a problem, you just need a bigger container.

So you get one.

I think that’s what’s happening for many Highly Sensitive Lightworkers.

Your internal container is already stretched by everything else you’re carrying with work, love, family, and visibility can feel like the final straw.

This doesn’t mean that you’re incapable, too sensitive or that your purpose is too big.

It’s just that your capacity hasn’t expanded yet.

And that’s not a problem; you just expand your capacity to hold your life and all that comes with visibility.

Stay tuned we’ll talk about what that takes.

Much love,

Essence

Yesterday, I asked if you were a Highly Sensitive Lightworker.

And a few of you replied and said yes. (thank you btw...)

Today, I want to talk about one of the biggest reasons why it’s hard for highly sensitive lightworkers to share and put themselves out there.

First, I already know what many of you are thinking...

I struggle to put myself out there because I’m not sure what I’m supposed to be talking about or sharing.

Or I don’t really know what my purpose is.

It’s some version of that, and I know that because I’ve been there.

But here’s the real truth.

You’re not confused.

You know what your purpose is and what you’re meant to share. You’ve journaled about it, you’ve tossed and turned at 3 am thinking about it, and you’ve even told your best friend about it.

You know the exact life lessons that your soul is begging you to share.

You can’t deny it. I know you.

The question becomes: If I know what my calling is and what I’m meant to say, why can’t I share it?

Your brain has probably answered with “it’s because you’re not confident, you’re a procrastinator, you’re a perfectionist, you need the perfect storytelling framework...etc.”

But that’s not true.

That might be true for some people, but not you.

Highly Sensitive Lightworkers and purpose-driven, soul-led women experience visibility differently.

Social media isn’t a mental platform for you.

It’s an environment that activates your senses and emotions.

You feel things deeply.

You think and process deeply.

Which means when it’s time to share something meaningful and vulnerable, your nervous system isn’t just processing the content.

It’s processing:

• What if people don’t understand me?

• What if they judge me?

• What if I say it wrong?

• It’s processing the fear of being seen, being rejected, being trolled, or being cancelled.

  ---

Your system is processing all of this, all at once.

And suddenly, what looked like a simple Instagram post or Facebook Live starts feeling much bigger.

Heavier and more intense.

No wonder you close the laptop and turn on Netflix.

Or you tell yourself you’re confused, not confident enough, or you need the perfect marketing program.

But you need something more specialized than what most marketing and business programs offer.

We’ll talk about that tomorrow.

So for today, own the fact that you know what your purpose is, celebrate it because not everyone knows.

Reply to this email and share your purpose with me. I’d love to hear it.

Then get online, make a post about what you feel called to share or be in the world, and let that be enough for now.

Much love,

Essence

Subscribe now

I mentioned it yesterday but I don’t talk a lot about being highly sensitive, but I am.

And lately I’ve been thinking about how business, visibility, being online and putting yourself out there can sometimes feel pretty intense.

I said, “Wow, I’m walking the path of a Highly Sensitive Lightworker?”

I smiled and then my heart filled with gratitude. Yes, it’s intense but I’m grateful to be on this journey of helping, teaching, guiding and my sensitivity is like a special superpower.

My spidey sense and I love it.

I’m curious whether you’re a Highly Sensitive Lightworker too?

Here are a few questions for you...

• Have you ever walked into a room and immediately felt the energy, the vibe of the place and the people?

• When you’re with someone close to you, can you tell when something’s off with them before they even mention it?

• Do you take on people’s energy so completely that you can’t tell if it’s your true emotions or theirs?

• When you get on certain social media platforms, does it feel like you’ve stumbled into a loud, chaotic party?

• Have you been called too sensitive, too emotional, too deep, too intense?

• Do you have a deep knowing that the experiences you’ve lived, the hard things you’ve been through, the wisdom you found on the other side, were meant to be shared?

• Does the thought of teaching, guiding, coaching, helping others heal and grow light up your entire spirit?

• When fear and doubt stop you from teaching, guiding, and helping others, does it feel like a light inside of you is slowly fading and dying?

  ---

If you answered yes to most of that, you are a Highly Sensitive Lightworker.

And this week, I want to talk about something that almost no one in the online business world is talking about:

What it actually takes for a woman like you to get her voice and work into the world.

Much love,

Essence

p.s.

I’d love to hear from you.

Reply and tell me how many yes’s you had or how you relate to being a highly sensitive lightworker.

I’ve known that for years.

When I used to work at the hospital, my main job was teaching classes, and that part was easy for me because I knew exactly what I was going to teach and say word for word.

But every now and then, I had to go down to the ER and check in with nurses to see if they had any questions about what we’d covered in training.

And y’all... I hated going to the ER.

It was busy. People were rushing around. It just felt like a lot in my body.

I would start thinking about going down there and could already feel myself getting worked up before I even left my desk.

So I’d stop in the bathroom first.

Put my hand on my heart.

Take a few breaths.

And just tell myself: I am safe.

I didn’t tell myself that I was wrong for being too sensitive or try to coach myself to think happy thoughts about the ER.

I told myself the truth, “The ER is a lot for me, and that’s okay, and I’m safe”.

I just needed something to hold onto so my mind wouldn’t spiral out.

I still do this now.

When I get news I don’t like.

When my brain starts making up scary stories about the future.

I bring myself back to the present moment and remind myself that I’m safe.

I’m sure that many of you here are highly sensitive too so I wanted to share this with you.

Just a tiny practice.

Two minutes.

Breathe and affirm with me.

Much love,

Essence

PRESS PLAY OR WATCH HERE

P.S.

The hand on the heart and the breathing are the key.

Yep, I told my client to forget about regulating herself.

She said what do you mean, forget regulating?”

I said, “Tell me the last time you wanted someone to regulate you”?

And we both cracked up laughing.

Because when you say it like that, it sounds a little cray, but that’s what want to do to our bodies day and night.

Control it

Manipulate it

Manage it

If you have to regulate yourself for 15 minutes before and after using social media, and you’re not brand new to it, that’s a problem.

If you’re working from home, doing what you love, and you’re having to regulate yourself, we should look into that.

It’s like if you buttoned your pants, walked downstairs, and the button popped open.

At first you’d think:

“that’s weird,”

But if it kept happening all day long, eventually you’d stop trying to force the button closed and realize: “Okay… something’s actually going on here.”

That’s how I think about the body.

Because your body isn’t trying to sabotage your purpose.

And it’s not meant to constantly feel like something you have to manage in order to do your soul work.

Your body and soul want to support you in expressing yourself, sharing your work, and feeling good while doing it.

So when that’s not happening, I see it as problem, not like you’re a problem or wrong.

The constant dysregulation is a message that’s being ignored and that’s the problem.

Something inside you needs attention, safety, compassion, support.

That’s the work.

And if you need help with that, just reply to this email.

Much love,

Essence

When they told me that I had to go to Mrs. Fox’s class, I threw a fit.

I didn’t want to go.

I wanted to stay with Mrs. Marine.

Having to leave her was heartbreaking.

Not just the class, but her

Eventually, I made do and got past the trauma ( or so I thought).

The next year, Mrs. Marine transferred to a new school, and I don’t recall ever thinking much about her and that terrible experience.

Fast forward about 7 years later.

I’m in middle school, on the volleyball team.

I’m at an away game with my team and we’re practicing on the court.

I look in the stands and guess who’s there.

It’s Mrs. Marine.

I fell to my knees and started bawling my whole eyes out.

My team was looking at me like I’m absolutely crazy.

They’re trying to figure out what the hell is going on with me.

And I can’t even get the words out because I’m doing the hyperventilating ugly cry thing.

Mrs. Marine comes over and hugs me and tells me that she knew it was me, and I look the same.

Looking back, that moment taught me that we don’t get to choose what our body’s hold onto.

Much love,

Essence

To the woman who has been through hell and came back with wisdom. But you get a knot in your throat when you try to share it.

You’re the woman whose friends hear your breakthroughs and say, “Girl, you need to share this.”

“When are you gonna start your podcast?”
“Your YouTube channel?”
“You should really be talking about this.”

They can see how far you’ve come.

They’ve watched you survive heartbreak, grief, endings, trauma, disappointment, and somehow still come back wiser... deeper.

You made it through all five breakups in one piece.

But for some reason, going live on Facebook brings a knot to your throat and causes your whole body to freeze.

And when you look back over your life and realize everything you’ve already survived, sometimes it frustrates you that you still can’t just press record.

And I get it because I’ve been there too.

It used to take me five hours to make one 10-minute video.

And for a long time, I thought being harder on myself would somehow speed up the process.

Like if I just pushed myself more, judged myself, forced myself, eventually I would stop being scared.

But honestly, it just created more of a rupture in my relationship with myself.

The real work started when I stopped trying to fight myself through visibility.

It started with learning how to...

Stay in my body.
Stay connected to myself even when fear, vulnerability, and old wounds were coming up and telling me to run away.

That’s the work that slowly changed things for me.

Visibility didn’t suddenly become easy overnight.

But over time it became easier because I was rebuilding trust and safety inside my body instead of constantly trying to override it.

Much love,

Essence

I know what it feels like to have something inside you that wants to be shared with the world…

and then watch your own nervous system fight you every step of the way.

First, you sit down to work on your business.

You come up with a program that will take a woman through the transformation it took you years to move through.

You outline each module.

You title the videos and the pdf’s.

You write the sales page.

And it’s fire.

You feel so connected to it.

You can’t wait to change her life.

You’re smiling ear to ear, filled with joy and ready to do the Tom Cruise jumping on Oprahs couch move.

You think okay, this is it. I’m finally going to stop hiding. Tomorrow I’m going to tell the world.

When it’s time to share

Your jaw locks.
Your heart feels heavy.
Suddenly the program that felt so clear yesterday now feels questionable.

You reread your sales page 14 times.
Start tweaking the outline.
Convince yourself you need more clarity before you can move.

So instead of posting about your amazing program that you were so sure of 24 hours ago, you open another tab and start researching marketing strategies while your original idea slowly loses its energy and the love you had for it.

What’s really happening on the inside is that a part of you is saying “let’s do it!” While another part of you is slamming on the brake and yelling “hell no.”

And the war begins again.

The women I work with

are usually deeply self-aware.

You know when fear is running the show.
You can spot the overthinking and overanalyzing.
You understand that you’re talking yourself out of your own calling.

And that’s exactly what makes this so frustrating.

Because you can see the pattern while it’s happening and still feel stuck and unable to take a different step.

A big part of you knows you’re meant for more.

You just know there’s something in you that wants to be expressed and shared.

And every time you try to move toward it, your nervous system floods your body with doubt, hesitation, perfectionism, shutdown, or overwhelm.

I understand all of this

because I’ve been there.

For a long time, I thought this meant I didn’t want it bad enough and that I just needed to go harder so I bought into hustle culture…

Wake up earlier and be more disciplined.

Be more consistent.

Push harder.

Basically… hustle my way past my nervous system.

But honestly, that gets old real quick!

And I learned that purpose-driven women aren’t struggling because their not hustling hard enough.

It’s that a lot of women are trying to build a visible, meaningful life and business from a body that still associates visibility, purpose and calling with danger.

So when it’s time to actually share your work your body says:
slow down. wait. hide.
Not yet, I’m not ready.

All because your nervous system doesn’t fully trust what will happen if you’re finally seen as the purpose-driven woman you know you’re meant to become.

And after a while,

the hardest part isn’t even the business stuff.

It’s the relationship you start developing with yourself.

Because you stop trusting your own intentions.

You doubt your purpose.

You stop believing yourself when you say: “I’m really going to do it this time.”

You begin living in this soul-sucking space between: the woman you know you called to be…and the smaller version of yourself your nervous system let’s you be.

And that gap is painful, it hurts.

Especially when you know you have something real to offer people.

The goal…

What if the goal isn’t hustling, pushing, or forcing yourself into action?

What if the real work is helping your body finally feel safe enough to stay with yourself while you move toward your purpose?

Safe enough to be visible, express yourself and share life changing work.

And finally safe enough to stop abandoning yourself every time fear shows up.

Because when your body and your soul stop fighting each other, taking purposeful action becomes so much easier.

There’s still discomfort sometimes.

There’s still fear sometimes.

But you’re no longer shutting down the second those feelings show up.

And that changes everything.

Stay tuned as we continue our conversation on purpose and nervous system alignment.

much love,

Essence

P.S.

I want to make more Self-Healing Sundays aligned to what you all are actually going through. You can share here what you’re going through and have questions about here on the Community form.

P.P.S

Ready to start sharing your gifts and living your purpose?

Reply to this email or book a call here.

I think one of fears favorite lines is “I’m not ready yet.”

You have a plan to start your podcast, youtube channel, ask for a raise and the here comes the whisper, “I’m not ready yet.”

And you believe it.

And honestly, sometimes it sounds really convincing.

“I need more time.”
“I need to learn a little more first.”
“I should wait until I feel more confident.”
“Maybe later.”

But a lot of the time, it’s not really about readiness.

It’s the fear of being seen.
The fear of rejection.
The fear of putting your heart into something and not getting the response you hoped for.

And instead of saying that directly, the mind turns it into overthinking, procrastinating, researching, hesitating, doubting yourself.

Before you know months have passed and you’re feeling behind.

I can see now there were so many moments in my own life where I thought fear was protecting me, but really it was just keeping me small.

Keeping me quiet and keeping me from fully showing up for the things I knew deep down I wanted.

And I think one of the hardest realizations is seeing how often we reject ourselves first.

We talk ourselves out of the thing before life even has the chance to respond to it.

We convince ourselves not to try.

And not to trust what we feel.

But in your heart of hearts you know what you’re being called to do or be.

That’s what you believe and trust, not the voice of fear.

Something to sit with today:

What keeps pulling at you lately?

What keeps whispering to you underneath all the noise and distractions and practical reasons and excuses?

And what would happen if you stopped waiting to feel fully ready before you started listening to yourself?

Your answer does’’t have to be huge.

Just tell the truth.

Much love,

Essence

P.S.

I want to make more Self-Healing Sundays aligned to what you all are actually going through. You can share here what you’re going through and have questions about here on the Community form.

P.P.S

If you feel like fear keeps talking you out of the life you know you want, this is a huge part of the work I do with women inside the Feminine Return Blueprint Session.

So this morning I woke up in a complete funk.

I did not sleep well at all because I watched a show on Netflix called Nemesis before bed and my mind was going all night long.

Thinking about the characters.

Thinking about how to help people get away. Thinking about how sad it was that his son was getting pulled into gang life.

My brain does that sometimes, which is why I try to be really careful about what I watch.

So when I woke up this morning, I just felt heavy.

Low energy.
Melancholy.
Kind of emotionally flat.

And immediately my mind started talking.

“Well, you don’t have a client session until 3.”
“You barely slept.”
“You might as well just stay in bed all day.”
“We can just watch another Netflix show.”

Just that whole everything sucks kind of energy.

And for a second, I almost went with it.

But then underneath all those thoughts, I could feel something else.

I could feel my body quietly saying:
“But I don’t want this.”

Like my emotional body did not want to stay in that heaviness all day.

And the difference is… I actually listened.

I didn’t just automatically believe the first thoughts that showed up in my head this morning.

I got up.
Put my shoes on.
Went on my walk.

And now I feel so much better.

I’m happy I got up.
I’m happy I shifted my energy.

And I think this is important because so many people think the first emotion or thought they wake up with is automatically the truth.

Like:
“This is how I feel, so this is who I am today.”

And that is not always true.

Sometimes your mind is just pulling from exhaustion, fear, hormones, overstimulation, old emotions, what you watched before bed, what you ate, stress, all kinds of things.

That does not mean you have to fully hand your day over to it.

A lot of times we actually do have the ability to shift our energy.

Not by forcing ourselves and pretending we feel amazing when we don’t.

But by listening deeper.

Because my body this morning did not want to stay stuck in melancholy.

It wanted movement.
Fresh air.
Sunlight.

And I’m really glad I listened.

What is your body craving today?

Hit reply and let me know.

Much love,

Essence

If you don’t love yourself, if you don’t like yourself,

and you’re constantly criticizing,

being mean to yourself,

nervous system regulation is never going to work for you long-term.

You’ll always end up dysregulated.

Because regulation can’t exist in an abusive relationship.

If we look at being regulated as a sense of safety and calm.

Then if you were in an abusive relationship, it would make sense that your body would constantly be dysregulated because you’d always be on edge, never knowing when your partner is going to be mean, or rude, or moody.

There wouldn’t be much time for feeling calm because you’d always be bracing, waiting for the next argument.

What’s happening is the same thing, except for this time, the other person isn’t the threat. You are a threat to yourself by the way that you treat yourself, by the way that you talk to yourself, and think about yourself.

Your body can never fully relax when you’re at war with yourself.

And so, you can learn all the breathing techniques, and the grounding techniques, and the meditations.

But if you finish meditating, you feel calm, and then two minutes later, you start thinking thoughts like:

“I’m behind.” “I should be doing more.” “Oh my gosh, I need to hurry up.” “I gotta keep going.” “Why is everybody further ahead than me?”

Then you’re just going to become dysregulated again because your nervous system is still under attack.

Women were never taught to be kind to ourselves, we were taught to judge and critique ourselves so it’s not your fault.

But now it’s time to reprogram this pattern.

If you’re exhausted from overthinking, constantly criticizing yourself, and feeling like your nervous system never fully settles…which stops you from taking action and going after your dreams and goals.

I’m opening a few complimentary Feminine Body Blueprint Sessions this week.

In this 45-minute session, we’ll look at:
• the pattern your body has been stuck in
• why self-regulation hasn’t fully lasted
• what’s keeping you disconnected from yourself
• and what it would take to start feeling safe in your body again

You’ll also experience a short grounding practice to help you reconnect with your body in real time.

Reply and ask any questions or book your call here

Book Session

Much love,

Essence

So instead of trying to pull it out of him, or go into my childhood rejection story...

I just leaned my head on his shoulder, wrapped my arm around his arm, closed my eyes, and let my heart open.

And I remember just lying there smiling because I could actually feel my own love filling me up.

It felt like my body was overflowing with love from within myself, rather than desperately needing someone else to give it to me first.

Honestly, I felt so proud of myself in that moment.
Proud that all of the self-love work that I’ve done over the years showed up in that moment.

And proud that I was full enough inside myself to not make him responsible for filling me emotionally while he was struggling.

I was even able to visualize some of my love pouring into him.

And that moment has stayed with me because so many women have never been taught how to love themselves in that way.

So they keep reaching outside themselves for someone else to finally make them feel chosen, full, worthy, loved, enough.

They overanalyze texts.
Notice when somebody’s energy shifts.
Feel sick waiting for a reply.
Need reassurance just to feel okay again.
Start feeling unwanted if somebody gets quiet, distracted, stressed, or emotionally unavailable for a moment.

They keep trying to pull love, attention, validation, safety, closeness out of other people because they do not know how to fully give those things to themselves yet.

And even when somebody really does love them… it still never fully feels like enough for long.

And then they still end up feeling empty.

Helping women break that cycle is a huge part of the work that I do.

I help women come home to themselves and build such a deep relationship with themselves that they stop feeling starved for love all the time.

And help them feel safe enough in themselves that love stops feeling like something they constantly have to chase, earn, pull from people, or beg for.

Because when a woman is deeply connected to herself, she still loves people deeply.

But she is no longer abandoning herself, trying to get love back.
If you are craving this kind of relationship with yourself,

Reply with the word Home.

I’ll send you the details for my free Feminine Blueprint Session, and we can talk about what it would look like for you to come back home to yourself, too.

Or book the call (here).

Much love,

Essence

I mentioned before that over the past few months I’ve been noticing three protective patterns that keep showing up in the women I work with.

Different ways women disconnect from themselves, stay stuck in their heads, shut down, overthink, overgive, or struggle to fully move toward the purpose they can feel calling them.

I started thinking about them as archetypes. Personalities that step up and take over you in certain situations.

So I made a short quiz to help you see which one feels the most true for you right now.

It only takes 2 minutes, and I think it will reveal a lot to you.

Not just what the pattern is, but what your body may have been trying to protect you from underneath it.

Because sometimes self healing is less about “fixing yourself” and more about finally understanding yourself clearly so you know your next best step forward.

Enter your info & grab the quiz here:

take the quiz

And when you finish, reply back and tell me which archetype you got. I really do read every reply.

Much love,

Essence

Take me to the podcast

“I feel like a stranger in my own skin, disconnected from my thoughts and emotions. I don’t know what I want or where I’m going.”

When I read that, it made my heart ache a little because I know that feeling.

Before I started my healing journey, my relationship with myself and my body wasn’t great. I felt uncomfortable in my own skin.

And honestly, it’s one of the reasons why I started drinking at such a young age.

I was at a party and I didn’t feel like I belonged, and the drinking helped me escape. And even if it was fake and it wasn’t real, I felt like I fit in.

I’m sure I’ve told you before that I felt so damaged that when I started making jewelry years ago, I literally created a collection called Damaged Goods because that’s how I saw myself.

Disconnected and out of place.

Like everyone else got the handbook for living and being human, but God skipped over me.

Women Are Living With This Pain Every Day

And what made me feel emotional wasn’t just remembering my own pain.

A lot of it is knowing how many women are still living with this pain today.

There are so many women who feel disconnected from themselves, and they don’t feel safe in their bodies. The one thing that’s truly ours, truly yours, and you don’t feel safe in it.

So many women have become strangers to themselves without even realizing it.

And for us, it starts at such a young age. We carry it into adulthood.

Then we numb out, scroll, stay busy, consume every podcast, overthink, drink, all to avoid things getting quiet.

When Things Get Quiet

Because when you’re alone, and there’s no noise, you can feel the disconnection and loneliness.

And when you live with that long enough, it starts to feel permanent, like it’s never going to change.

Like it’s just who you are and you’ll always feel disconnected so another 3 years pass and you still haven’t started the business, which means another 3 years of doubting yourself, and watching other people live their purpose while telling yourself “maybe someday.”

Like you don’t fit in with the world or even with yourself, and you never fully relax around other people because part of you is always performing, and shape-shifting, trying to avoid rejection.

Like you’re always just on the outside looking in, trying to figure out how to get in, but staying on the sidelines just reinforces the belief that you don’t belong and you’re not worthy enough to fully go after what you want.

But I Need You to Know Something

You are not damaged, and there’s nothing wrong with you.

You are worthy and you belong.

It may not feel like that because your body has learned to protect you, and disconnection is one of the ways it’s been doing so.

The Three Protective Patterns

Over the past few months, I’ve started noticing three protective patterns women tend to fall into when they no longer feel safe being fully connected to themselves and their bodies.

I call them:
~The Stranger.
~The Intellectual.
~The Performer.

I created a short Archetype Quiz to help you discover which protective pattern your body may be living in right now.

You can take it here.

Take the Quiz

No sign-up necessary.

You’ll get a brief snapshot of your archetype.

Then if you reply back to this email with your archetype, I’ll send you the full, deeper breakdown of:

• why this pattern formed

• what your body has been trying to protect you from

• and what it actually needs to finally feel safe enough to reconnect to yourself again

Because this work is my real work in the world.

Helping women come home to themselves again because when a woman feels truly connected to herself again, she starts actually moving toward the life, purpose, relationships, and work she knows she is here for.

Much love,

Essence

When I read that, it made my heart ache a little because I know that feeling.

Before I started my healing journey, my relationship with myself and my body wasn’t great. I felt uncomfortable in my own skin.

And honestly, it’s one of the reasons why I started drinking at such a young age.

I was at a party and I didn’t feel like I belonged, and the drinking helped me escape. And even if it was fake and it wasn’t real, I felt like I fit in.

I’m sure I’ve told you before that I felt so damaged that when I started making jewelry years ago, I literally created a collection called Damaged Goods because that’s how I saw myself.

Disconnected and out of place.

Like everyone else got the handbook for living and being human, but God skipped over me.

Women Are Living With This Pain Every Day

And what made me feel emotional wasn’t just remembering my own pain.

A lot of it is knowing how many women are still living with this pain today.

There are so many women who feel disconnected from themselves, and they don’t feel safe in their bodies. The one thing that’s truly ours, truly yours, and you don’t feel safe in it.

So many women have become strangers to themselves without even realizing it.

And for us, it starts at such a young age. We carry it into adulthood.

Then we numb out, scroll, stay busy, consume every podcast, overthink, drink, all to avoid things getting quiet.

When Things Get Quiet

Because when you’re alone, and there’s no noise, you can feel the disconnection and loneliness.

And when you live with that long enough, it starts to feel permanent, like it’s never going to change.

Like it’s just who you are and you’ll always feel disconnected so another 3 years pass and you still haven’t started the business, which means another 3 years of doubting yourself, and watching other people live their purpose while telling yourself “maybe someday.”

Like you don’t fit in with the world or even with yourself, and you never fully relax around other people because part of you is always performing, and shape-shifting, trying to avoid rejection.

Like you’re always just on the outside looking in, trying to figure out how to get in, but staying on the sidelines just reinforces the belief that you don’t belong and you’re not worthy enough to fully go after what you want.

But I Need You to Know Something

You are not damaged, and there’s nothing wrong with you.

You are worthy and you belong.

It may not feel like that because your body has learned to protect you, and disconnection is one of the ways it’s been doing so.

The Three Protective Patterns

Over the past few months, I’ve started noticing three protective patterns women tend to fall into when they no longer feel safe being fully connected to themselves and their bodies.

I call them:
~The Stranger.
~The Intellectual.
~The Performer.

I created a short Archetype Quiz to help you discover which protective pattern your body may be living in right now.

You can take it here.

Take the Quiz

No sign-up necessary.

You’ll get a brief snapshot of your archetype.

Then if you reply back to this email with your archetype, I’ll send you the full, deeper breakdown of:

• why this pattern formed

• what your body has been trying to protect you from

• and what it actually needs to finally feel safe enough to reconnect to yourself again

Because this work is my real work in the world.

Helping women come home to themselves again because when a woman feels truly connected to herself again, she starts actually moving toward the life, purpose, relationships, and work she knows she is here for.

Much love,

Essence

I really want you to sit with that question for a second.

What do you know in your heart you are meant to do, create, say, share, or become… but you keep letting fear, overthinking, distractions, excuses, or self-doubt stop you from fully stepping into it?

Because I feel like I have finally gotten to the place where I’m letting myself fully do what I know in my heart I’m here to do and I want that for you too.

The work I’m really here to do

For a long time, I’ve worked with women around forgiveness, relationships, visibility fears, healing what comes up in business and marketing, and all of that work matters to me. I love it.

But my deeper calling is…

Helping women love themselves and feel safe in their bodies again.

Helping women stop living almost entirely from the mind and start building a deeper relationship with themselves through the body.
And through learning how to actually be with themselves again.

The Stranger

When you come home to your body and to yourself, you can take action toward your purpose with so much more ease instead of fighting against yourself.

And I know “coming home to yourself” gets said a lot now, but honestly… that really is the work.

Because so many women are strangers to themselves.

A lot of women treat themselves the way they treat the neighbor three doors down.

You know they’re there, but you barely really connect with them.

You hope you don’t accidentally run into them while taking the garbage out because then you’ll have to stop and talk.
But you’d rather keep your distance.

And that is how so many women live with themselves…distant

Barely checking in, rarely listening, won’t sit with themselves long enough to really feel what’s there.
Always in their heads or staying busy.

And I’m here to change that!

I understand why women are strangers to themselves.

Because for a lot of women, the body does not feel safe to be in.

It’s holding heartbreak, shame, fear, and old pain.

So being fully present with yourself can feel like too much sometimes.

I get that because I was there too.

I didn’t like myself.
I’d purposely get up and walk into the bathroom, look in the mirror and say the meanest things to myself.

I also used to drink to avoid my feelings and the heaviness in my heart.

But drinking daily wasn’t just drowning out my feelings, it was drowning out my soul’s calling as well.

It’s hard to hear your intuition when you’re numbing, running away and avoiding yourself.

Learning how to stay

It took work but I learned how to stay with myself no matter what.

How to love myself even with dark circles, patchy skin, anger, moodiness, tenderness, peace, the full range of emotions that come to visit me.

I quit running to alcohol when things felt heavy or I made a mistake that I wanted to forget about.

I stopped making myself wrong for being fully human.

And that’s changed my life.

This journey, the good and the bad led me to my purpose.

That is my magic.

Helping women stop hiding and being strangers to themselves.

Helping women trust their bodies and intuition again.

And trust the feminine wisdom inside of them that has been trying to guide them to their purpose the whole time.

So I’ll ask you again

What calling have you been sleeping on?

What are you here to do & how’s the journey going?

Reply and share, I want to hear from you.

Much love,

Essence

What calling have you been sleeping on?

I really want you to sit with that question for a second.

What do you know in your heart you are meant to do, create, say, share, or become… but you keep letting fear, overthinking, distractions, excuses, or self-doubt stop you from fully stepping into it?

Because I feel like I have finally gotten to the place where I’m letting myself fully do what I know in my heart I’m here to do and I want that for you too.

The work I’m really here to do

For a long time, I’ve worked with women around forgiveness, relationships, visibility fears, healing what comes up in business and marketing, and all of that work matters to me. I love it.

But my deeper calling is…

Helping women love themselves and feel safe in their bodies again.

Helping women stop living almost entirely from the mind and start building a deeper relationship with themselves through the body.
And through learning how to actually be with themselves again.

The Stranger

When you come home to your body and to yourself, you can take action toward your purpose with so much more ease instead of fighting against yourself.

And I know “coming home to yourself” gets said a lot now, but honestly… that really is the work.

Because so many women are strangers to themselves.

A lot of women treat themselves the way they treat the neighbor three doors down.

You know they’re there, but you barely really connect with them.

You hope you don’t accidentally run into them while taking the garbage out because then you’ll have to stop and talk.
But you’d rather keep your distance.

And that is how so many women live with themselves…distant

Barely checking in, rarely listening, won’t sit with themselves long enough to really feel what’s there.
Always in their heads or staying busy.

And I’m here to change that!

I understand why women are strangers to themselves.

Because for a lot of women, the body does not feel safe to be in.

It’s holding heartbreak, shame, fear, and old pain.

So being fully present with yourself can feel like too much sometimes.

I get that because I was there too.

I didn’t like myself.
I’d purposely get up and walk into the bathroom, look in the mirror and say the meanest things to myself.

I also used to drink to avoid my feelings and the heaviness in my heart.

But drinking daily wasn’t just drowning out my feelings, it was drowning out my soul’s calling as well.

It’s hard to hear your intuition when you’re numbing, running away and avoiding yourself.

Learning how to stay

It took work but I learned how to stay with myself no matter what.

How to love myself even with dark circles, patchy skin, anger, moodiness, tenderness, peace, the full range of emotions that come to visit me.

I quit running to alcohol when things felt heavy or I made a mistake that I wanted to forget about.

I stopped making myself wrong for being fully human.

And that’s changed my life.

This journey, the good and the bad led me to my purpose.

That is my magic.

Helping women stop hiding and being strangers to themselves.

Helping women trust their bodies and intuition again.

And trust the feminine wisdom inside of them that has been trying to guide them to their purpose the whole time.

So I’ll ask you again

What calling have you been sleeping on?

What are you here to do & how’s the journey going?

Reply and share, I want to hear from you.

Much love,

Essence

Click to watch the video

Last year, I took some time off from my business to go deeper into my somatic work and training.

I was taking my Kundalini yoga teacher training and additional somatic trainings, and during that time, I went back to one of my old jobs.

We are basically educational tech trainers for nurses at hospitals.

Usually, when we do projects there, they are short. Maybe 6 weeks, sometimes 3 months.

THE ROLE I ALWAYS CHOSE

And for years, I always took the support role.

So basically, someone else would teach the class, and I would sit in the back helping the nurses on the computers if they got behind or missed something while the teacher kept teaching.

The support role paid less money, and honestly, for years, that made complete sense to me.

Even when my coworkers would beg me to train for the teaching role, I was like, “ Nope”. Absolutely not.

WHAT I REALIZED

And what I can clearly see now, after all the somatic work I’ve done, is that I was not deeply anchored in my body or self-trust.

So my brain would immediately go into anxious thoughts.

• “What if somebody asks you a question and you don’t know the answer?”

• “What if you look dumb?”

• “What if you freeze?”

• “What if everybody realizes you don’t know everything?”

And it would create this panic in my body where I was like, “yeah, no, I’m not about to be standing up in front of a class looking like a fool.”

So for years, I chose the safer role.

The invisible & lower-paid role.

WHAT CHANGED

But during this last project, which was almost a year long, something had shifted in me.

I remember thinking… I’m not about to take less money for an entire year because my brain is creating fear scenarios.

No.

And my brain still tried.

“What if somebody asks something you don’t know?”

THE DIFFERENCE

This time, there was this steadiness in me.

This anchored feeling of:

I got this.

And if I don’t know the answer, I’ll just say I don’t know.

Or I’ll tell them it’s outside the scope of the class.

Or I’ll get back to them later.

Nothing about not knowing something suddenly meant I was dumb or incapable anymore.

THE MOMENT I KNEW I HAD CHANGED

And honestly… every single time somebody asked me something I didn’t know, I almost enjoyed it.

Because it reflected back to me how much stronger and more anchored in myself I had become.

Questions no longer knocked me out of myself.

People’s perceptions no longer had the power to completely shake me.

I could stay steady in myself.

WHY I’M SHARING THIS

And I’m sharing this because I think a lot of people don’t realize how much anxious thinking keeps them from opportunities, money, visibility, leadership, relationships, creativity… all of it.

Simply because they aren’t deeply anchored in themselves.

THE SHIP

When you are disconnected from your body and only living in your mind, it’s like being on the top deck of a ship during a storm.

Every wave throws you around.

Every opinion shakes you.

Every moment of uncertainty knocks you off center.

But when you’re anchored in your body, it’s like holding onto something deeper underneath all the chaos.

The waves still come.

Life still happens.

People still ask hard questions.

There is still uncertainty.

But you’re steady now.

You’re not getting emotionally thrown overboard every five minutes by fear scenarios your brain created.

You trust yourself to handle what comes.

And honestly… this is the way it was always meant to be for you.

There is a version of you that can handle more money, more visibility, more responsibility, and more leadership.

But she needs a body that feels safe enough to hold it.

And if you feel like your body is still pulling the brake every time it’s time to raise your prices, speak up, go live, lead the room, be fully seen, or say yes to a bigger opportunity…

that is exactly the kind of thing we look at inside the Feminine Return Blueprint Session.

It’s a free call where we slow down and look at the actual pattern your body has been running underneath the fear, the overthinking, the hesitation, and the self doubt so you can start feeling safer in yourself when life asks you to step-up, make more money or take-up space.

Book Here

Much love,

Essence

I spent YEARS choosing the lower-paying role because my nervous system thought visibility was dangerous.

Last year, I took some time off from my business to go deeper into my somatic work and training.

I was taking my Kundalini yoga teacher training and additional somatic trainings, and during that time, I went back to one of my old jobs.

We are basically educational tech trainers for nurses at hospitals.

Usually, when we do projects there, they are short. Maybe 6 weeks, sometimes 3 months.

THE ROLE I ALWAYS CHOSE

And for years, I always took the support role.

So basically, someone else would teach the class, and I would sit in the back helping the nurses on the computers if they got behind or missed something while the teacher kept teaching.

The support role paid less money, and honestly, for years, that made complete sense to me.

Even when my coworkers would beg me to train for the teaching role, I was like, “ Nope”. Absolutely not.

WHAT I REALIZED

And what I can clearly see now, after all the somatic work I’ve done, is that I was not deeply anchored in my body or self-trust.

So my brain would immediately go into anxious thoughts.

• “What if somebody asks you a question and you don’t know the answer?”

• “What if you look dumb?”

• “What if you freeze?”

• “What if everybody realizes you don’t know everything?”

And it would create this panic in my body where I was like, “yeah, no, I’m not about to be standing up in front of a class looking like a fool.”

So for years, I chose the safer role.

The invisible & lower-paid role.

WHAT CHANGED

But during this last project, which was almost a year long, something had shifted in me.

I remember thinking… I’m not about to take less money for an entire year because my brain is creating fear scenarios.

No.

And my brain still tried.

“What if somebody asks something you don’t know?”

THE DIFFERENCE

This time, there was this steadiness in me.

This anchored feeling of:

I got this.

And if I don’t know the answer, I’ll just say I don’t know.

Or I’ll tell them it’s outside the scope of the class.

Or I’ll get back to them later.

Nothing about not knowing something suddenly meant I was dumb or incapable anymore.

THE MOMENT I KNEW I HAD CHANGED

And honestly… every single time somebody asked me something I didn’t know, I almost enjoyed it.

Because it reflected back to me how much stronger and more anchored in myself I had become.

Questions no longer knocked me out of myself.

People’s perceptions no longer had the power to completely shake me.

I could stay steady in myself.

WHY I’M SHARING THIS

And I’m sharing this because I think a lot of people don’t realize how much anxious thinking keeps them from opportunities, money, visibility, leadership, relationships, creativity… all of it.

Simply because they aren’t deeply anchored in themselves.

THE SHIP

When you are disconnected from your body and only living in your mind, it’s like being on the top deck of a ship during a storm.

Every wave throws you around.

Every opinion shakes you.

Every moment of uncertainty knocks you off center.

But when you’re anchored in your body, it’s like holding onto something deeper underneath all the chaos.

The waves still come.

Life still happens.

People still ask hard questions.

There is still uncertainty.

But you’re steady now.

You’re not getting emotionally thrown overboard every five minutes by fear scenarios your brain created.

You trust yourself to handle what comes.

And honestly… this is the way it was always meant to be for you.

There is a version of you that can handle more money, more visibility, more responsibility, and more leadership.

But she needs a body that feels safe enough to hold it.

And if you feel like your body is still pulling the brake every time it’s time to raise your prices, speak up, go live, lead the room, be fully seen, or say yes to a bigger opportunity…

that is exactly the kind of thing we look at inside the Feminine Return Blueprint Session.

It’s a free call where we slow down and look at the actual pattern your body has been running underneath the fear, the overthinking, the hesitation, and the self doubt so you can start feeling safer in yourself when life asks you to step-up, make more money or take-up space.

Book Here

Much Love,

Essence

Intuition is one of the key traits of divine feminine energy, and today, you’re going to put that into practice.

⁣Below, you’ll see a picture of three cards.

⁣Pick a card, any card. Allow your intuition guide you.

Did you pick one?

Once you’ve picked your card, scroll down and read your message from your feminine soul.

Your homework this week is to not just read the card but follow the deepening.

Give your soul what it’s asking for.

Card Descriptions:

Card #1

Card #2

Card #3

Great job!

How was it?

Was it easy to go with your gut or did you second guess?

How is this the perfect card for you today?

Reply and let me know.

Talk soon,

Essence